In Search Of Perfection

I often wonder to myself how I came from such a terrible childhood with this will to make my life better and to always be searching for perfection and happiness. I look at my life now and I compare it to what it was like back then and I don't think I would ever change that childhood regardless of the horrible things my brothers and I had to endure and I am glad that my children will not have to endure that kind of pain. You see some people grow up from things like that and take the easy route always wanting others to pick up the pieces and never taking responsibility of their own lives and destiny.

We were three siblings on completely different paths in life, I am the oldest, then there is my brother J who is the middle child and then there was T the youngest. My youngest brother T wanted to escape from himself and was always looking for the approval of his older brother to validate himself. J, I think just could never find a path and never had the stamina or drive to stay on one. Me on the other hand was always going to make something better out of my life. J has been addicted to heroin for as long as I can remember and T following on the same path of destruction paid the ultimate price with his life when he overdosed on heroin at 18 years of age. It came as a shock to me as he had hidden it so well that I never worried about him, he was on his way to becoming a chef and I was extremely proud. I never thought that this could happen to someone I loved so much. Someone I had protected and mothered when we were little. I had gotten out of that nightmare housing commission house at 15 and it was the best thing I could have done. I was in charge of my life and I had a choice to make it better, which I did. MY brother J all I can hope is that he finds the drive someday soon and gets off the heroin highway. I love him but I can't watch him continue to destroy himself. It hurts to much. I have lost one brother and I fear I may lose the other prematurely one day.

I have never really associated with anyone who has experienced the trauma of an horrific childhood like me. I also have never really associated with anyone who was dealing with having drug addicts in their family. Maybe I have but they have never told me about it. I dealt with it in my own ways and I still deal with it in my own ways. I have made a life that doesn't involve those things.

So when I read Mr Ramsay's Humble Pie it shocked me. It was in a way as if I was reading about myself and my own life. I know its sounds stupid but it was quite an emotional book for me. I feel like I know him. It is bizarre I know. To bond with a complete stranger who I have never met and will probably never meet. To see your own emotions, passion, drive, the never ending feeling of searching for perfection, wanting to please everyone and a commitment to make myself better in any way I can, in words that are so up front, so strait down the line and so truthful, well it's inspiring. It makes me feel like I am not alone and I am not an alien.

This man that everyone sees on television is truly incredible, not because of his TV shows, not because of his amazing talent as a chef, because he is a survivor, not a victim. He has a heart as big as Pharlap, a soul that has fire with drive and determination. He expects perfection, he searches for it everyday and why the hell not, he deserves nothing less. Why should we not excel and achieve more for ourselves. His passion, devotion and his never ending search for perfection is admirable and I have a new Hero. His book Humble Pie is something that I will treasure forever. It has renewed my spirit, recharged my soul. It has reminded me how I wouldn't be the same person without my awful childhood because those experiences have made me passionate, driven and an extremely loving person. So I urge you, if you have not read this book, do it or I will hunt you down and smack your bottom.

Mr Ramsay you are my Hero and thank you for your amazing book.

(P.S. just don't tell my husband LOL)

XoxoxoX

My Brother T

Blueberry Blondies

Let me tell you the last few months have been full on for Chopper and myself. Work has been really busy for both of us, a good busy, very productive. We have not had alot of time for play. All of a sudden Christmas is nearly upon us and we just had Choppers birthday and he was extremely spoilt.

As we all know I have done quite a few recipes featuring blueberries. There Choppers favourite, what can I say, I love my Husband. So for his birthday this weekend I played and made him some Blueberry Blondies. Basically a white chocolate version of Brownies. These are super moist and are not for the faint hearted, like alot of my recipes. My little Peanut started helping me with them but he was more interested in the white chocolate chunks in the bowl. Being nearly 3 he is fascinated with everything at the moment and full of questions, one particular question that he uses probably 50 times a day is 'What's that mummy?' He is so beautiful, I am so lucky. Actually, I had a conversation with another mother a couple of weeks ago. I was going on about how much I adore all my children, my Husband and how the house wouldn't be the same without their constant chatter and mischievous behaviour and she looked mortified. You know that look someone gets when it's like (you've gotta be joking). It took me back a bit for a moment. Most of the people I know adore their families as much as I do. It makes me realise how lucky I am to have them. Maddy and I were making bruschetta and her daughter followed me around all over the place. The little girl preceded to tell my Maddy while they were playing that she was very lucky because her Mum never talks to her. Now that saddens me, I don't know how to help her, but it also makes me feel like I am on the right track with my children by talking to them. Someone said to me once when Ben & Maddy were very little 'if you talk to them and listen to them throughout their adolescent years they will continue to talk to you during the hardest years of puberty and teenage/highschool life'. To true, that has always stuck in my mind. Even though I work full time, I still talk to my children. Trust me, I am not perfect but these little things keep me on track as a parent and as a person. It also reminds me that I have broken the cycle and I have come out of my hard childhood and not become my mother. My friends in Brisbane are beautiful mothers, like me they work full time and I admire them for all that they do and how much commitment they have to their families. You know who you are, in particular K and C!

Sorry, I have digressed, back to the Blondies. These turned out to be a triumph, just beautiful and really easy. I tweaked a lovely Woman's Weekly recipe. So here it is and I hope you enjoy them.

Blueberry Blondies

• 125g butter, chopped
• 200g white eating chocolate
• 3/4 cup (165g) castor sugar
• 2 eggs, lightly beaten
• 3/4 cup (75g) self raising flour
• 100g white eating chocolate, chopped extra
• 250g of fresh blueberries
• 1 tablespoon of icing sugar
  

Preheat you oven to 180c. Grease and line a slice pan with grease proof paper. Melt the butter and 200g of white chocolate over a low heat until all melted together and allow to cool slightly. In a large bowl add the flours sifted, sugar, egg, extra chopped chocolate and blueberries. Then add the melted chocolate and butter mix and combine all together. Spread mixture into slice pan. Bake for 40 Min's until firm and golden in colour. Allow to cool and cut into squares, dust with icing sugar. Done!

P.S. I am also just about finished reading Gordon Ramsay's Autobiography, Humble Pie. Wow, what an amazing read. He is so inspiring and so passionate. You have to read it! He is an incredible man. This is going to sound silly but he reminds me of myself. Coming through a hard and poor childhood has made him more determined, more passionate and more disciplined. Except............ I am not rich and famous LOL, what a bummer. Kudos to you Mr Ramsay!

The Olympics - Go Aussie Go!!!!!! - Chocolate Fondue

Awarded to Reno

Well what does Chocolate Fondue have to do with the Olympics you ask? Well this is a gold medal worthy recipe, that's what!


Due to unfortunate events with a moody modem, blogging my recipes has been impossible lately. So finally here is the first recipe from my dinner party menu, (fingers crossed) that it doesn't have another meltdown while I type this post.


The Olympics are off and running. Wow, hasn't it just been fantastic? We are big lovers of the Olympics in this house, there is nothing like rooting for your country and being patriotic. Mind you watching that amazing Michael Phelps fellow from the USA has been awesome. That man is a swimming machine. He wanted 8 golds and he got his 8 golds. Congratulations Mr Phelps.

How stunning has our Aussie Olympic team been? They make me so proud. They have put in an exceptional effort and the rewards just keep coming. Congratulations Guys! Go Aussie! Go!

The most heartbreaking moment of the games so far, for me, has not been a lost medal for one of our amazing athletes, it was the Colombian weightlifter Oscar who's chances at winning gold were shattered in Beijing. I felt for this man and nearly cried in the process of watching him struggle. This man is a two time world champion weightlifter. You have to watch the video to understand his pain and to know what I am talking about. It turns out that Oscar had an injection in his hand for an injury he had just previous to the competition. He could not feel his thumb and his hand just could not keep a grip of the bar. Tragic to see someones dream end so badly. I urge you to watch the video and tell me your thoughts on what happened.

Now to that Gold Medal recipe for the fondue. Really, it is the easiest recipe ever. My friend Reno taught me how to make it and I just keep reproducing it. So thanks Mr Reno and I award you with a Gold medal for this recipe in the spirit of the Olympics.

Basically you put 250 grams of Dark Chocolate chopped, 3 Mars Bars chopped, and 1 1/2 cups of cream into a sauce pan. Melt together, over a medium heat stirring all the time until thick, gooey and luscious. Serve with pieces of your favourite fruit and your done. We find banana is the favourite fruit, oh and strawberries of course. It's fool proof. It is so moreish and you can't help but guts yourself. Enjoy!

Back In The Saddle Again & The Ultimate Dinner Party

Menu

Amuse Bouche

Ceviche of Tasmanian Salmon with Avocado, Tomato,
Chilli, Coriander & Topped with Salmon Roe

Paired with a Lindaure Fraise

Entrée

Szechuan Pork Salad with Rocket, King Island Feta,
Italian Sweet Cherry Vinegar & Joseph First Pressed Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Paired with a 2006 Wirra Wirra Church Block Cabernet Sauvignon-Shiraz-Merlot
from McLaren Vale

Pallet Cleanser

Lemon Sorbet

Main Course

Fillet of King Island Beef with Dauphinoise Potatoes,
Sweet Potato Mash & A Red Wine Blackberry Jus

Paired with a 2005 Metala Langhorne Creek Shiraz Cabernet
from Saltram Wine Estate South Australia

Dessert

Amelita’s Amazing Chocolate Fondue with Seasonal Fruits

Paired with a Suntory Lena Banana Liquor over Crushed Ice

Cheese Course

King Island Seal Bay triple Cream Brie,

Maggie Beer Quince Paste and Oat Biscuits

When faced with the challenge of finding a new job after having the dream job of being a Chef. Where does it all lead? Well it has been an interesting few months. I am back in the garbage business. Disposing of it of course. It has been extremely busy and extremely overwhelming at times. I not only get rid of the general waste side of things. Now I deal with the hazardous side of things as well. My cheeky new boss left out the fact, that in my new position I would be dealing with those nasty things called greasetraps, measuring them to be exact. Have you ever seen or smelt one of those things. Nasty and disgusting. Also she left out the fact that my first day would comprise of Hep A & B injections. But the difference with this position is that we recycle alot of it. Which makes me feel a lot better. Also if you remember my previous two posts ages ago, you will remember how traumatised I was at how much we throw away at the dump and how much I loved my job. For those of you who have not seen them, I will provide the links. So this is the best of both worlds.

The Sopranos and how it relates to my new job.

Garbage and the Prime Minister.

So how does this coincide with my Dinner Party you ask? Well I had my gorgeous new boss and her husband over for dinner, inclusive of the other lovely young lady I work with and her husband. Out to impress I guess. So this menu above is what I treated her to. K is obsessed with food as I am. So I pulled out a very classy menu and I think I impressed. They loved it. My boss K could not stop taking photos of the food and by the end of the night we were all very inebriated. K is also to get credit for the amazing pictures above. K calls herself, B-Captured. Very clever little name, for a very clever lady. I am exceptionally lucky. I have had some wonderful bosses and this one is a star. We didn't get to the cheese course, we were all stuffed.

So everything has settled down and my routine has sort of gone back to normal. This menu will have each recipe shown in succession over the next 2 weeks. So I hope you enjoy them. And no I am not dead nor in a coma somewhere. Just lost track of myself for a little while. But I found myself and I am back with a vengeance. Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts and support.

Cheers

Amelita aka Squishy

Sticky Date, Ginger & Macadamia Nut Puddings with Butterscotch Sauce

So this is the first recipe with my homemade Glace Ginger. When I first started making these last night I could never have dreamed that they would turn out so wonderful. They are rich and decadent. They have that gingerbread smell to them. These are not for the faint hearted, they are a meal in themselves. I think the next ones need to be made in smaller ramekins or make one large one and cut into small slices. It was a struggle between the heart and the tummy to finish one. The butterscotch sauce was heaven and complimented the puddings so well. I have taken a good old Women's Weekly recipe, tarted it up and enriched it in a very decadent way. So for all of you in need of comfort like I am at the moment, please take comfort in one of my gorgeous puddings.

Ingredients

Puddings

• 1 and 1/2 cups of dried dates
• 1/4 cup of glace ginger
• 1 teaspoon of bicarbonate soda
• 1 cup (250ml) boiling water
• 50g butter, chopped
• 1/2 cup of firmly packed brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup of self raising flour
• 1 and 1/2 cups of macadamia nuts

Butterscotch Sauce

• 300ml of cream
• 3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 75g butter, chopped

Preheat your oven to 180 degrees. Grease 4 medium sized ramekins or 8 small ramekins with butter. Cut circles of greaseproof paper and place in the bottom of the ramekins. Line each ramekin with a single layer of macadamias, reserve the rest for stirring through the pudding batter.

Combine dates, ginger, soda and boiling water in a heat proof jug and allow to stand for 5 Min's so the ingredients soften. Then using a stick blender, process until nearly smooth. Then add the eggs and blend a little more. Fold in the self raising flour and macadamia nuts. Fill ramekins 3/4 of the way with the batter. Place in your preheated oven and cook for 30 Min's. Stand for 10 Min's before turning onto plates.

To make the butterscotch sauce. Stir cream, butter and sugar over a low heat in a saucepan until the sauce is hot and smooth. Pour your hot butterscotch sauce over your puddings and your done. I served it with some cream to cut through the sweetness. Next time I think some marscapone would pair very well with the exceptionally sweet puds. That tangy sourness would make a wonderful contrast to the sweetness. As warned this is not for the faint hearted it is rich, it is sweet, it is everything a winter pud should be. Comforting isn't it?

Glace Ginger

I have had a brain freeze over the last couple of weeks as to what my next recipe is going to be. I have been fretting. I don't know why? I suppose all the job hunting has put me in a very focused place. I am only in the last 5 days getting interviews for jobs I applied for 3-4 weeks ago. I don't know what is happening with the job market at the moment. It seems to be very different than the last time I actually had to go out and apply for one. I have kinda just fell into the roles I have had. So this is new territory for me. All the waiting kinda makes you feel sick and nervous at the same time. The interviews are now coming through thick and fast which is making my head spin. So cross your fingers for me that I get the one that I want.

Sorry I have digressed. Back to the ginger. I was walking through the supermarket the other day talking to myself, saying I have to come up with something soon that is worthy. Then I saw the most beautiful looking hands of young ginger. I picked one up and here we are. This is the first recipe and there will be a couple more ginger recipes to proceed it. One involves macadamia nuts, dates and of course the glace ginger, but you will have to wait for the next post.

I thought I would try my hand at making glace ginger and I am glad I did. It is actually very easy and personally tastes so much fresher and spicier than the jar variety. I didn't use a recipe, I just kind of winged it myself. The end result is wonderful. Not to thick, not to thin, very spicy, sweet and fresh.

Ingredients

• 1 Hand of ginger, peeled and julienned (aka thin strips)
• 1 cup of water
• 1 cup of sugar
• 2 tablespoons of glucose syrup or corn syrup

On a low heat in a heavy based saucepan place the water and sugar. When the sugar has dissolved completely add the ginger. Allow to simmer gently until the ginger goes translucent and the liquid has reduced by half. This took me about 45 Min's. Then I added the glucose syrup, simmered for another 15 Min's and your done. Allow to cool slightly and store in a sterilized jar. It makes about 1 and 1/2 cups.

It is really lovely to make yourself, so much fresher. I think it will make a real difference flavour wise to the pudding I am making next. Go on give it a try :)

Lamb & Onion Tarte Tartin

As you know I am a huge fan of puff pastry (no Duncan I didn't make the puff pastry myself ;)) and lately I have been dabbling with variations of the Tarte Tartin. This one is the perfect lunch or light dinner. It covers the sweet, salty, and sour rules to a tee. I loved making this one, it's so easy and packed full of flavour. Enjoy :)

Ingredients

1. 3 Brown Onions Sliced
2. 2 Yellow or Red Capsicums Sliced
3. 2 Cloves of Garlic Chopped Finely
4. 1 Small Red Hot Chili Chopped Finely (include the seeds)
5. Balsamic Vinegar
6. Knob of Butter
7. Olive Oil Excellent Quality
8. 3 Lamb Fillets
9. 2 Sheets of Ready Rolled Puff Pastry
10. 125 grams of Feta Cheese crumbled(I used a creamy textured one)
11. 1 bag of Pre Washed Rocket or if in the USA Arugula

Preheat your oven to 200 degrees Celsius. In a large frypan add a splash of olive oil and a knob of butter, start by frying your onions on a high heat, don't be tempted to play with them to much, we want them to start caramelizing. When they have softened and just starting to get lovely caramelized edges add the chopped garlic, sliced capsicums, a big splash of balsamic vinegar, a sprinkling of salt flakes and a good grind of black pepper. Give it all a good stir around, pop a lid on and allow to soften for 5 Min's. Then take the lid off and allow to simmer until most of the moisture has evaporated from the pan. Set aside off the heat and stir through your chopped chili.

Grease your flan dish with some butter. Use your flan dish as a template for your puff pastry and cut the puff pastry to roughly the same size. Line your flan dish with the warm onion and capsicum mixture. Top with the puff pastry one sheet on top of each other, tucking it in around the edges, double thickness means lots of puff. Use a fork and pierce your puff pastry in a couple of places to allow any moisture to come out while cooking. Pop into the oven for about 15 Min's or until the top is puffed and golden.

While your Tartin is cooking, pan fry your lamb fillets on a high heat for about 2 Min's or so on each side in a little butter and olive oil. We want them lovely and pink in the middle. Allow the lamb to rest for a couple of minutes, then slice thinly.

Run a knife around the edge of your flan to allow it to slide out easily. Place a large plate on top and invert.

Top the flan with crumbled feta, the sliced lamb and a really good grind of black pepper. Serve with the Rocket dressed in a little good quality extra virgin olive oil and a splash of balsamic vinegar or a balsamic reduction as I have. It is a lovely fresh and light dish, packed full of flavour. Next time though I think I will make two instead of one, as we all wanted more. Yummy :)

Tiramisu

Look at that! Now this is a really beautiful desert. Oh, do I love Tiramisu. Look at those gorgeous layers, just perfect. The espresso is just soaked in enough to leave that beautiful centre of sponge finger in the middle. This recipe has come from Stephanie Alexander, The cook's companion, with just a little tweaking from me. The recipe states to allow it to sit in the refrigerator for at least two hours, but I leave mine in overnight. It just gets better the next day. All those flavours just seem to enhance and meld together for maxium enjoyment. Gotta love it and you just have to try it. Another classic recipe.

• 6 eggs separated
• 2 tablespoons of castor sugar (or more if you have a sweet tooth, which I do)
• 500 g mascarpone
• 1/4 cup of cherry brandy
• 1 cup of espresso cooled (now this is the recipe, but I find that you need at least 400 ml to get the job done)
• 24 sponge finger biscuits
• good quality dark chocolate for grating over the top

Select a 2 litre rectangular dish that is at least 8 cm deep. Beat egg yolks with sugar until thick and pale, then mix with the mascarpone. Whip egg whites to stiff peaks and fold into mascarpone mixture. Combine cherry brandy and espresso and dip sponge fingers into liquid. Layer the biscuits in the dish then the mascarpone mixture, then another layer of dipped biscuits finishing with another layer of mascarpone mixture. I used a deeper dish and made three layers. Grate chocolate over the top using a micro plane. Refrigerate for at least two hours or overnight.

That's it, simple.

Enjoy! I do on a regular basis ;)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Well it is that time of year again. Santa is getting ready to fill his sleigh with all those presents for little children and big children alike.

I am preparing for a gastronomic feast for just Chopper, Peanut and Myself.

With B and M away in Brisvegas with their father and J and A with their mother for Christmas day this year. This will be the first Christmas in a long time I won't have a bunch of people over munching out all day. The pressure is off. It's kinda nice actually. Chopper and I can have quite a lavish little gourmet feast on our own without food for the masses.

Croissants for brekky with bacon and eggs.

I have two lobsters in the freezer ready to be grilled in their shells on the BBQ

and I am making a nice Bearnaise sauce to top them off. Caesar salad to go with, Choppers favourite. Peanut has been munching out on home made rum balls for the past two days.

I have 2 dozen NZ oysters so we can have those done in a classic Kilpatrick.

Plum pudding of course with vanilla custard and thick double cream.

Otherwise some lovely cherries, mangoes and a gorgeous piece of seedless watermelon.

I think that makes for a great Christmas day feast just the two of us, adults. Not completely traditional, but quite satisfying none the less.

We will definately feel the absence of the majority of our blended family this Christmas, but they will be enjoying themselves with the X Husband and the X Wife and I hope they have an amazing day all four of the little midgets. We will have a second Christmas day when they are all home on the 1st of January.

I hope you all have had a wonderful year and have a safe time during this crazy Christmas and New Years period. Thank you all so much for your support with my Food Blog which is a little over a year old now.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

XoxoxoX

Love Squishy

Blueberry Arancini with Caramelized Balsamic and Vanilla Icecream

As promised. What to do with that leftover Blueberry Risotto. Place in the fridge and allow to go really cold. I would recommend overnight. The risotto will go very firm, so you can shape it into golf ball sized balls. The rest is easy.
All you have to do is flour them, roll them in beaten eggs

and then cover them with bread crumbs.
Allow them to rest in the fridge for at least half an hour.
Then fry to golden perfection in hot canola oil.

Serve immediately with this gorgeous gem Chopper picked up for me at the Del Santos deli in Ayr, caramelized balsamic vinegar and add a really big scoop of good quality vanilla ice cream.

Gorgeous just gorgeous, I tell you.

This is another sweet version of an Italian savoury classic people. Yummo!